It's disappearing

Last night, I opened Morgan's box. It hadn't been opened since I closed it a few weeks after his funeral

My fingers delicately touched the dried flowers. I leafed through the cards -- both congratulations and condolences -- people sent us. My eyes met the ultrasound pictures with sadness.

As I stared at the photo, I realized that it seems to be getting darker. The little peanut in the picture is fading into darkness. And that was the end of me keeping it together. I couldn't wrap my head around it. Why is it fading? What is going on? This is my only tangible memory.

And it's disappearing.

I think that is the hardest realization today.